Tactical Errors

When I was in college, I wrote all of my papers with three other girls in the history department, and we quickly earned the nickname, "The Four Horsemen." I was War (which probably doesn't surprise anyone who knows me), because I talked a lot about tactics and plans of attack, etc. Reading my Bible today, I saw some interesting things.

God did not want His people traveling through the Philistine country, because they were not ready for battle; war would only encourage them to return to Egypt, where at least people weren't openly fighting them. God's alternative was to lead them into a clear trap--a strategically terrible physical layout.

Ex. 13:20-14:4 After leaving Succoth they camped at Etham on the edge of the desert. By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or by night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people. Then the LORD said to Moses, "Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. They are to encamp by the sea, directly opposite Baal Zephon. Pharaoh will think, 'The Israelites are wandering around the land in confusion, hemmed in by the desert.' And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for Myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians wil know that I am the LORD." So the Israelites did this.

This is so interesting. God trumps all the gods of Egypt--absolutely slaughters them--with the ten plagues. God leads His people out with plunder from the land of Egypt; they are the richest escaped slaves ever. He stays with them day and night, with an obvious sign of His presence and care, and then He says, "Turn back. Put yourselves in danger. Back into a position from which there is no retreat and no escape, where the Egyptians can see you, and they will surely come to kill you. I intend to glorify Myself here." In any military situation, what the Israelites did would only be the last-ditch effort of an amateur strategist who had, quite frankly, lost it. Who, when given a chance to escape, turns back and intentionally puts himself into an impossible position? Tactically, this is the worst move ever. This is General Custer at the Little Bighorn. It's an invitation to hopeless slaughter. And many of the Israelites recognize this when they see Pharaoh's army drawn up in bristling array at the only possible exit from the area: "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"

What I love here is that the LORD has a plan, even though He doesn't immediately articulate it for His people. He intends to turn the thing that makes escape impossible into the perfect escape route; the sea will become a highway, and the highway will become a grave for the Egyptian army. God put His people into an impossible situation because He wanted to do something impossible. What kinds of impossible things does God want to do in our lives? Are we willing to be put into a position of no retreat and no escape? "The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is His name. Pharaoh's chariots and his army He has hurled into the sea" (15:3-4a). What battles does our great Warrior God want to win in our lives? Are we willing to face certain failure to watch Him win miraculously?

O Father, I want to trust You like Moses.

Fear and Faith

It is horrible to be afraid that someone might physically harm you. I have been afraid before, but nothing like Job. He said homeless, vagabond type people would attack him for fun. They knew he had no one to help him. He said he lived in terror. That is so sad to me. It made me think of the poor all around the world who live in terror, especially the children. Dear Jesus, please help the poor, homeless children in China, North and South Korea, Vietnam, Thailand, India, and South America. Oh God Almighty, defend the orphans. Today, please help, rescue, and sustain the people of Haiti who are terrified after the devastating earthquake. Please help my friends and I see the poor and needy around us and help them in Your name, power, and love.

Faith is more than what we believe, it is what we live. Job was so sure that he had lived faithfully to God, that he said you could write out everything he'd ever done and he'd sign his name to it. Wow. I wouldn't want to suffer through seeing some of the things I've done recorded in print, much less want to sign my name to it. I am grateful that Jesus has covered my sins with His blood, and taken away my shame. :) Hallelujah! So I guess the story book of my life would look like a pad of blood red construction paper. All I could write is, "Redeemed by the blood of Jesus!" I could sign my name to that.
Still, I want to learn from Job, and live my life in such a way that I'd be willing to sign my name to it- before God. Oh God, help me walk with highest integrity, so I can always come to You confidently, knowing in my heart that I've honestly tried to always do the right thing. And when I sin, help me bring it to You quickly and not hide it. Then forgive me, cleanse me, and don't let sin take root in my life. Lord Jesus, I pray for these ladies and myself, that You would keep our hearts free from sin so we can worship You in Spirit and in truth. Fill us and overwhelm us Holy Spirit. Empower us to live boldly for the glory of Christ. Thank You so much for picking us up, cleaning us off, and loving us like You do. There is none like You! Hallelujah!!!

Comiserating with Job

I awoke with a heavy heart this morning. This year has not started off very well. I had hoped and prayed that this would be a year of new beginnings, but I don't see signs of anything changing yet. Can I whine a little? Please have mercy on me. I'm in a long, horrible, seemingly unending divorce. Many of you don't know me or my circumstances, and there is waaaaay too much to try to get into details about why. I will tell you that I sought Godly counsel of professional Christian counselors and several pastors, and they agree I am justified in divorcing. Anyway, the lawyers are supposed to be working on settlement papers (have been since October), so I hoped this year would bring some relief. I still hope it will, but like Job, I just don't see how I'm going to make it much longer.

I know what it's like to have people judge me unfairly, like Job's friends did. They don't know what our life was really like. We had an image of the perfect little Christian family, so some people just assume I went crazy. I have also been told things like I must be too close to my parents (untrue, he virtually isolated me from them), that I am selfish and out of God's will, and that I am led by demons. All the while I am trying to honor God and not tell these people the dark truths of what our home was really like. I have also prayed, like Job, that God would kill me before letting me dishonor His name. I must tell you, though, that He is merciful and has not answered that prayer. Unlike Job, I have let the stress of all this get to me and have said plenty of things I shouldn't. I am not nearly as upright as Job, and have had to ask God to forgive me and rescue me from sin many times. My biggest struggle right now is with the sins of bitterness and hate. God, please help me keep on forgiving and don't let these evils take root in my heart.

Then, last night I had a scary run in with mean and controlling X. So, again today I cried out to God for help. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of fearing for my children. I'm tired of feeling unsafe. I'm tired of seeing injustice continue. I'm tired of struggling. I'm weary because I see no end in sight for these things. My Bible was opened, and I looked up and saw Psalm 31:2, "Turn Your ear to listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe." Then verse 7, "I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul." Ya'll, I take so much comfort in knowing that God is with me, otherwise I couldn't survive. But, God didn't rescue Job right away, and I have no promise that He'll rescue us soon either. I am just so grateful that He hasn't abandoned me. I know Jesus is with me and He loves me. I know He sees me and He cares. I don't know what to do but keep clinging to Jesus, and contact my lawyer again. Ya'll, please pray for me and my children that God would protect us and provide for us. Please pray that God would have His will and be glorified in me. Thank you.

If anyone has any encouragement to give, I'd appreciate your comments. I apologize for being so pathetic and laying my heartache out there for you all to see. I assure you this only skims the surface; I didn't show you the maggots. ;) Thank you God that I've not suffered anywhere near as much as Job!!!