Out of the Storm

I have to admit that about two days ago I was pretty tired of Job's situation. I don't know about you but I was so challenged by Job's attitude and as I reflected on my own attitude from day to day, there is only so much personal conviction I can take! He questioned God, he challenged God, and things just kept getting worst for the poor guy!

Today we have finally reached the finish line and suddenly God speaks to Job "out of the storm". As I write there's a storm brewing outside. I can see the lightning flashing across the dark sky and the thunder rumbling. It's pretty incredible to watch, but can you imagine hearing God speak in the midst of a storm?!

Sometimes the storm of life is just like the one I'm watching outside. It rumbles and intimidates, and it make you want to hide inside. However, like Job, I would like to be close enough to God that I can hear His voice and see His power in my life, "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you (Job 42:6)."

Written for me

Hey ya'll! Did ya'll enjoy Job 35-37 as much as I did? If not, that might be because it was written specifically for me. I'm just kidding, but this was one of those times when I felt like God was speaking clearly and directly to me. God is exalted, and I am humbled. Here are a few things that stood out to me:
*There is none righteous, no not one (not even Job). Just like our sin can't injure God in any way, neither is our righteousness any great gift to Him. Our pride makes us think it is, but no. Nothing we can do can either harm or help God. Our righteousness is like filthy rags, or dirty diapers. When my kids were toddlers, and in a mommy loving mood, sometimes they didn't want anyone to change their diapers but me. If someone smelled a ripe one and offered to change them, they would tell them, "No I want my Mama to do it." I would joke, "It's not exactly an honor honey." I wonder if that's what God thinks when we try to proudly offer Him our righteousness, like a gift. I don't think it angers Him; He is patient with our immaturity. Wonder if He thinks, "That's nice sweetheart, but why don't you keep that trophy on your shelf." ;) Thank You Father, that You never ask us to come to You in our righteousness. Clothe me in Your righteousness, dear Jesus. Make me what I can never be.
*It's great to run to God and tell Him I'm hurting, and tell Him I just don't understand what He's doing. But then I need to trust Him. It's not okay for me to blame Him or accuse Him of not caring. That is pride- like saying I would do a better job if I were god. (absolute evil, no wonder God hates pride!) How much better it is to lay down my pain and trust Jesus. Then I will be able to hear the songs He gives in the night.
*God is always right. He sees. He knows exactly what's going on. He will rescue me when He wants to- His timing really is best. Now this was a big "OUCH!" for me: He lets me suffer injustice to show me my prideful sins. He gets my attention and commands me to turn from evil. I feel like God gave me a specific warning/ promise of blessing. If I'll listen and obey, He'll bless me. If not, I'll suffer much worse. But, He wanted me to go through this period of suffering to teach me to depend on Him and trust Him, even when it's really hard. The first part of 36:15 says, "But by means of their suffering, He rescues those who suffer." I feel like God is telling me that if He had not prolonged my divorce, I would have quickly fallen into a lifestyle of sin because I was so broken and needy. He had to do it this way so I would seek healing in Him, and not in any man. That would have been so unhealthy- and disastrous! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You God, for keeping me. All the pain is worth it to be held so securely in Your arms. Thank You for keeping me from becoming bound in a life of sin again! Thank You for leading me away from danger to a place free from distress. Hallelujah!
*I need to obey God, and walk in personal holiness. It's a matter of attitude- humbly doing what is right because God is awesome. Not to show what I good girl I am. Humility,reverence and awe of God, that is how I should approach God. You are awesome God. I can never stand before You and make an argument. I can't look at the sun, so I certainly can't look into your glory to make my pitiful case. Job 37:22-24, "So also, golden splendor comes from the mountain of God. He is clothed in dazzling splendor. We cannot imagine the power of the Almighty; but even though He is just and righteous, He does not destroy us. No wonder people everywhere fear Him. All who are wise show Him reverence." Thank You for being so merciful to me. Thank You for forgiving me. Thank you for being kind and gentle with me. Thank You for loving me. I love You Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit. Amen.

Fear and Faith

It is horrible to be afraid that someone might physically harm you. I have been afraid before, but nothing like Job. He said homeless, vagabond type people would attack him for fun. They knew he had no one to help him. He said he lived in terror. That is so sad to me. It made me think of the poor all around the world who live in terror, especially the children. Dear Jesus, please help the poor, homeless children in China, North and South Korea, Vietnam, Thailand, India, and South America. Oh God Almighty, defend the orphans. Today, please help, rescue, and sustain the people of Haiti who are terrified after the devastating earthquake. Please help my friends and I see the poor and needy around us and help them in Your name, power, and love.

Faith is more than what we believe, it is what we live. Job was so sure that he had lived faithfully to God, that he said you could write out everything he'd ever done and he'd sign his name to it. Wow. I wouldn't want to suffer through seeing some of the things I've done recorded in print, much less want to sign my name to it. I am grateful that Jesus has covered my sins with His blood, and taken away my shame. :) Hallelujah! So I guess the story book of my life would look like a pad of blood red construction paper. All I could write is, "Redeemed by the blood of Jesus!" I could sign my name to that.
Still, I want to learn from Job, and live my life in such a way that I'd be willing to sign my name to it- before God. Oh God, help me walk with highest integrity, so I can always come to You confidently, knowing in my heart that I've honestly tried to always do the right thing. And when I sin, help me bring it to You quickly and not hide it. Then forgive me, cleanse me, and don't let sin take root in my life. Lord Jesus, I pray for these ladies and myself, that You would keep our hearts free from sin so we can worship You in Spirit and in truth. Fill us and overwhelm us Holy Spirit. Empower us to live boldly for the glory of Christ. Thank You so much for picking us up, cleaning us off, and loving us like You do. There is none like You! Hallelujah!!!

Opportunity to teach

"I will teach you about the power of God; the ways of the Almighty I will not conceal."
Job took the opportunity to teach about the power of God while he was in the middle of his crisis. I fear that many times while in the middle of mine, I am to caught up in my issue to teach anything!

Father God, help me to remember that people are watching and looking for YOU. Help me to be a good witness in good and bad times!

Hard Lessons

Job has become my friend. I really can not stand it that he is in such a hard trial. I have many friends who are facing incredible trials at this time. Divorce, cancer, loss of jobs, financial disaster, the list goes on and on........ My heart breaks for them. I feel the same for them as I do for Job in this moment. I just want God to show up! Make it better! Ease the pain! I know He can! I believe He can!
It is so hard in the middle of great trials to remember that God is with us even there. God is with Job. God is with my friends. It is so hard to understand that He has a plan for us even in the middle of all the junk. We must learn the lessons. Even the hard ones.

"Sinners in the hands of an angry God"

I thought of that old sermon as I read Bildad's words this morning. He was talking about how forgetting God is like hanging by a thread and leaning on a spider web. That's true, but I wanted to punch him for saying Job's kids sinned against God and deserved to die. Self-righteous people can be so cold hearted and uncaring. The sad truth is, it is very easy for any of us to jump to judgement and spew self-righteous condemnation on others. God forgive us and open our eyes!



As I read Job's words I cried for him. His despair was so great. He even believed God was watching him, looking for more chances to give him a beating. I wanted to tell him it was Satan beating him down, not God! God loved him and was proud of Him! But, God could have stopped this testing at any time and He hadn't yet. That's the hard part to understand.



I think I sense a change beginning to happen in Job's relationship with God though. Job was innocent and upright. He did everything he was supposed to and he feared God. But his reverence seems to keep a bit of distance between He and God. It is something I struggle with- balancing the holy awe of God with the friendship of God. I get a sense that Job is ready to break through any ceremonial restraint and run into God's presence and cry out to Him!



There is no God like our God!!! Jesus made a way for us to be clean, clothed in His righteousness, so we can come boldly before the throne of God! We can know God for ourselves! I think Job is about to know God like he has never known Him before. Maybe that's why God allowed this all to happen.



God, whatever circumstances we find ourselves in right now, help us see You and know You like we never have before. Amen.

Honest with God

I love that Job poured out his hear to God, sharing earnestly his hurts and frustrations. In Chapter 6, Job is talking to Eliphaz, but in Chapter 7, he is talking to God. Obviously, I want to be respectful in my conversations with the Lord, but I also desire to be real and honest, using everyday langauge. God knows my heart and my emotions even better than I know myself, why should I try to "filter" what I share with Him?

Comiserating with Job

I awoke with a heavy heart this morning. This year has not started off very well. I had hoped and prayed that this would be a year of new beginnings, but I don't see signs of anything changing yet. Can I whine a little? Please have mercy on me. I'm in a long, horrible, seemingly unending divorce. Many of you don't know me or my circumstances, and there is waaaaay too much to try to get into details about why. I will tell you that I sought Godly counsel of professional Christian counselors and several pastors, and they agree I am justified in divorcing. Anyway, the lawyers are supposed to be working on settlement papers (have been since October), so I hoped this year would bring some relief. I still hope it will, but like Job, I just don't see how I'm going to make it much longer.

I know what it's like to have people judge me unfairly, like Job's friends did. They don't know what our life was really like. We had an image of the perfect little Christian family, so some people just assume I went crazy. I have also been told things like I must be too close to my parents (untrue, he virtually isolated me from them), that I am selfish and out of God's will, and that I am led by demons. All the while I am trying to honor God and not tell these people the dark truths of what our home was really like. I have also prayed, like Job, that God would kill me before letting me dishonor His name. I must tell you, though, that He is merciful and has not answered that prayer. Unlike Job, I have let the stress of all this get to me and have said plenty of things I shouldn't. I am not nearly as upright as Job, and have had to ask God to forgive me and rescue me from sin many times. My biggest struggle right now is with the sins of bitterness and hate. God, please help me keep on forgiving and don't let these evils take root in my heart.

Then, last night I had a scary run in with mean and controlling X. So, again today I cried out to God for help. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of fearing for my children. I'm tired of feeling unsafe. I'm tired of seeing injustice continue. I'm tired of struggling. I'm weary because I see no end in sight for these things. My Bible was opened, and I looked up and saw Psalm 31:2, "Turn Your ear to listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe." Then verse 7, "I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for You have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul." Ya'll, I take so much comfort in knowing that God is with me, otherwise I couldn't survive. But, God didn't rescue Job right away, and I have no promise that He'll rescue us soon either. I am just so grateful that He hasn't abandoned me. I know Jesus is with me and He loves me. I know He sees me and He cares. I don't know what to do but keep clinging to Jesus, and contact my lawyer again. Ya'll, please pray for me and my children that God would protect us and provide for us. Please pray that God would have His will and be glorified in me. Thank you.

If anyone has any encouragement to give, I'd appreciate your comments. I apologize for being so pathetic and laying my heartache out there for you all to see. I assure you this only skims the surface; I didn't show you the maggots. ;) Thank you God that I've not suffered anywhere near as much as Job!!!

In Worship

I can not imagine the pain and anguish that Job felt at this time in his life. I can only relate on such a very small level.
This is what caught my heart this morning. The bible says that Job fell to the ground......in worship. In worship! I can tell you that my first response to pain and struggles is not to worship. What a lesson. I need to be more like Job.